by A.Muge Bakir,
And here we are; a body of water and a heartbeat of electricity.
It is the time of self-isolation, and we try to stay healthy and keep shining as much as we can. A giant map of the Earth covers my beige-coloured wall. Some parts of the wall are peeled by the force of the white tags. My calendar still shows March; days don’t matter anymore. Only the weather matters to me now, because when it’s sunny, I take a quick stroll along the canal and listen to the sound of it as it rushes against the walls. It’s fresh, stentorian, beautiful.
Through the sash window in my living room, a grand tree glances at me every day. It was naked in winter; now it is growing its summer dress; lush green leaves, birds resting on it, chirping. Every morning, the pigeons on my windowsill race to eat all the seeds I serve. On the other side of my house is the busiest streets in Hackney. I watch people queuing and shopping; some masked, some appearing immortal, standing close to one another with no mask, no gloves.
I used to write and paint every day when I was younger. I have loved writing since I learned how to do it; I loved painting long before that. It feels like getting lost in another world, very meditative. My mum is a fine art graduate, so she introduced us to a world of dreams and colours from a young age. I love the smell of gouache and acrylic paint. Before my main graphic work and writing became electronic, I used to have marks of ink and paint on my hands.
Nowadays, we are bound to stay at home because of a cluster of invisible creatures that may invade our bodies. It doesn’t sound like an act of nature but more like a high-tech, sci-fi experiment by scientists working in a weakly safety-sealed lab; the monster has escaped.
At a time like this, I am writing every day. It’s not ink anymore; everything is electricity. When I write this, actually, with every action and inaction; a waltz of cells under thunder and rain of electricity takes place in my dear brain. It’s always a party out there. The world is becoming more and more Tesla and Edison, and so is my brain… more electrical activity, electronic stimulants, distractions. My life is surrounded by waves and frequencies, and I am trying to follow this dance. I stumble, I stop, but I carry on.
Electricity is good; it excites the water. It excites me. Apart from everything, it helps me look at photos of the sea, the beaches, and at places, houses, flats by the sea; Brighton, Bournemouth, Dover, Devon.
I like the salty scent, the sweet breeze of iodine-infused embraces of the sea. The song of the waves is what I long for and my feet sinking, disappearing in the sand, waterdrops embracing me, my hair getting heavy as I get lighter. My existence is bound to the sea. Sometimes I am punching against the waves; sometimes the sand pulls at my feet; sometimes I float smoothly as my eyes pour into the sky and the bright sun, my ears silenced, dunked in the sea.
The symphony of the waves feels like Rachmaninoff to my ears; smooth, then rough and strong, but always in mathematical harmony. And me, a string in the water, following the notes, I mean, the ripples. How strange it is that frequency is much like ripples in water: it grows bigger, wider, wilder, just like humans and then converges into one another… just like us, or like a virus spreading. Every species on Earth wants to grow, expand, become more. This is the basic instinct of existence on Earth, all so different, all the same.
And here we are; a body of water and a heartbeat of electricity.
After all, we were all a drop of water and an electric beat once, before we became us, following a moment of love, lust, or even obligation. Our mere existence depends on water. That’s why we are, before anything else: water. And I choose to be fluid like the sea and converge into the soul of the Earth when this is all over. I will run to the sea; right into the bioluminescent waves.
In this time, when we have the chance to go deep within ourselves, find the thing that keeps you shining. Remember it. Recognize it. Accept it. Hold it tight and let it make you brighter than you have ever been. Find your bioluminescent wave and be it.
